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Police Gun Down 83-year-old Woman, Presumably in Self-Defense

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“I hope I die before I get old.” –Pete Townshend, suicidal 67-year old

Don’t let the Depends fool you: Old people want to KILL you. If you don’t believe me, try driving past an Episcopalian church after 6 AM Mass gets out. With all those elderly folk leaving the parking lot at the same time, the roads become the Running Of The Bulls, if all the bulls smelled like death and drove 15 mph. Senior citizens are a threat to America on par with al-Qaeda and baby carrots, and they must be stopped before it is too late.

That’s why it’s always nice to see a few courageous Americans take a bold stand against the Grey Menace every now and then. Gotta put those demented little twerps in their place and remind them who’s boss.

A police officer shot and killed an 83-year-old woman in her own backyard.

Delma Towler dialed 911 to report a burglary but when police arrived, one officer killed her outside her home in Altavista, Va.

The police “heard shots fired from within the residence. As the officers took cover, they saw a woman armed with a handgun leave the back of the house,” according to a statement released by the Virginia State Police.

The two responding officers claim that they fired Towler after she refused to put her weapon down. The woman reportedly did not have her glasses on or hearing aid in at the time.

Good Guys 1, evil trouble-making Grandma 0.

Sorry if you think I’m being insensitive, but as a freedom-loving American, the entire concept of old age offends me. We’re in the middle of a doggam recession, and you’re really going to stop working, just because you have “crippling arthritis?” What a crock. You don’t hear me complaining about MY aching prostate. And yet OUR generation’s the one that’s coddled? Puh-lease. Greatest generation, yeah right

Being a cop is a tough job. Your life is threatened on a daily basis. You really have to keep your head on a swivel out there. At ANY moment some 80-year old geezer could sneak up on you and try to show you pictures of her great-grandson. That’s why cops carry loaded guns. It’s a dangerous world we live in. Why this no-gooder was out on the front lawn, and not wasting away in a nursing home, is beyond me. Really, this entire ordeal serves this lady’s family right for not forking over the few extra bucks in medical expenses.

So no, I’m not going to fault the police here for putting their own personal safety over that of some mischief-loving old timer. Hell, you put me in the same position, not only am I giving her the ‘ol double tap, but I’m going to the local Old Country Buffett, chaining the doors shut, and adding a little fire and gasoline to the Early Bird Special, just in case she had any accomplices.

Oh, and murdering the elderly in cold blood is wrong.


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