Police Are Searching For A Man Who Had Sex With A Fleshlight In A Sex Shop

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Police Are Searching For A Man Who Had Sex With A Fleshlight In A Sex Shop

Before you enroll at a college, you visit the campus with your parents to get a feel for the school’s atmosphere. Before you buy a new car, you take it for a test drive. Why should a fake vagina stuffed in a tube be any different?

It shouldn’t be, and one man in England was fed up with the bullshit. The unidentified social warrior browsed the aisles of his local Simply Pleasure sex shop, located a sufficient plastic partner, then dropped his pants and had his way with it. Before he could finish, the man was rudely interrupted by a store employee. He promptly zipped up his pants and hurried out of the store like a high schooler whose girlfriend’s dad came home 30 minutes early from work.

From Mirror:

Police are hunting a man who was allegedly caught on a sex shop’s CCTV testing out an artificial vagina.

The man pulled down his pants and tried out a ‘fleshlight’, a best-selling sex toy disguised as a torch, it is claimed.

Stunned staff at Simply Pleasure in Exeter, Devon, reported the incident to police who are treating it as indecent exposure.

Listen, those fake vaginas don’t have a return policy so you really need to know what you’re going to get. All I’m saying is that this man wasn’t about to drop $20 on some shoddy product. Can’t blame him for that.

A call for reform is in order. I recommend sex shops take a page from the GameStop playbook. Just mount those bad boys to a wall and have patrons line up to sample the wares. Unlike GameStop, little kids won’t be allowed to watch you play.

[via Mirror]

Image via Google Street View

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Alex Buscemi

AKA Boosh. Former high school back-up wide receiver. Author of two pretty successful Reddit comments. Recent grad from the University of South Carolina.

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