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The below scavenger hunt checklist was found, according to a tipster that notified the Columbia University publication Bwog, next to a printer, presumably in a campus library, classroom or computer lab of some sort — also presumably by a pledge, who all seem to have the same innate propensity to fuck up at all costs. Who else would be given a list of points-accruing tasks to accomplish that includes items like stealing a hobo’s shoe, piggy-back riding “fat girls,” or upper-decking the toilet at a fancy establishment?

Here’s the list from the Pi Kappa Alpha chapter at Columbia University:

I’d like to bring attention to a few items:

1 copy of tentacle-port video (Hentai or live-action): 5 points

Apparently, tentacle porn is intercourse between an octopus or squid and a female, like the human kind, and it’s usually nonconsensual. It’s squid rape, basically. And it’s disturbing enough that something of this nature actually exists (it does, I looked it up), but the “live-action” option really throws me off. Sick, sick people.

Matt Wang’s glasses: 10 points

This Matt Wang guy must be a real asshole. To be the only person called out by name on this checklist — a list that features some pretty fucked up and degrading shit — he’s got to be biggest square in New York. This makes me really want to know more about Matt Wang. I have to know if he’s as big of a knob as I imagine he is. And if I should continue hating Matt Wang as I’m starting to right now. That four-eyed freak.

Man, screw Matt Wang.

Baby Cat: 20 points

So irresponsible. Who’s gonna take care of this thing? And 20 points!? Finding a kitten is worth twice as many points as convincing fat girls to let you ride them piggy-back style…while racing…and filming it?

Upper-decking the toilet of a fancy restaurant or hotel: 5 points

Five points is simply not enough for this one. Going top deck is a flagrant violation of basic humanity. Someone’s got to fish that turd out of there, man. This is at least a 15-pointer.

Rakob’s soul: 99 points

Anyone know who/what Rakob is? I’d like a backstory here.

And finally…

Video of a pledge poonspeeding (eating pussy while wearing a swimcap and goggles): 25 points

A new sex act is revealed: poonspeeding. I wonder if Matt Wang has ever poonspeeded (poonsped?). That poonspeeding son of a bitch is going to need some corrective goggles for this.

[via Bwog]

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Dillon Cheverere

Dillon Cheverere (@DCheverere) is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. Email: dillon@grandex.co

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