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PHOTOS: George W. Bush Once Met Harambe’s Mother

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Sometimes, the stars align, and by a trick of fate, something you never thought possible exists. The curtain rolls back and you see the deep threads connecting everything in a grand cosmic web where the confluence of giants meet.

These recently discovered pictures are just such a hallowed spoke of destiny. George W. Bush, while governor of Texas, posed beside the mother of Harambe, the slain prince, the martyr of our generation.

It is impossible to say what effect the proximity to a monumental titan of men’s fates had on the infant Harambe, but it is clear to me that he was destined for greatness since birth. Also painfully apparent is that some souls are just too bright and perfect for this cruel and dark world.

Harambe, also known as The Once and Future King, has experienced loss long before he paid the ultimate price for our sins. As you may know, Harambe was one of the only survivors to a chlorine gas poisoning that claimed the lives of his mother and brother. You may also know that Saddam Hussein was using chemical weapons against the Kurds in Iraq.

Is there a deeper connection between Harambe and former President Bush? Did Saddam kill Harambe’s mother? The world may never know the truth, but I think it is uncanny that Bush, a great leader of men, once touched the bloodline of such a great gorilla.

It’s also worth noting that many of these photos on the zoo archive reference the young Harambe playing with another baby gorilla named “Caesar”. Yes, that’s the same name as the ape that rose up and threw down humanity in Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes. Coincidence? Definitely not.

Keep Harambe in your prayers.

Do you love Harambe as much as W. does? Show your support for him with our limited edition Harambe gear:

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Doctor Franzia

*Not qualified to practice medicine*

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