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The key word in that headline, ladies and gentlemen, is “attempting.” The photo in question was taken in Flacco’s, a late night Cuban restaurant in the heart of UF’s Midtown. Cue all of the “I’m just surprised he wasn’t wearing jean shorts jokes.”
You should give this guy a little credit for having a miniscule shred of consideration in his heart; he did try to keep the mess to a minimum by aiming the consequences of his poor diet choices towards the general direction of the trash can. Unfortunately, it just didn’t work out for him, and while he maintained about a 20% trashcan-shits-in-regulation rating, I don’t see it working out too well for him in the future.
No word yet on an ID on this terror of public defecation. The world may never know, but his fecal legacy will live on. Next time you wake up with that “What did I do that last night?” feeling, you can at least be glad that you didn’t publically shit on the floor of a crowded restaurant.
*** Warning: POOP ***