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To me, the little things in day to day fraternity life always made me laugh as much as the, “Dude, Thompson got arrested for exposing himself to a police horse last night. The crazy fucker meat-spinned Seabiscuit,” moments. Well, okay, no; pulling a meat spin on a police horse and the ensuing pursuit is one of the funniest things that can happen in life. Still, you get the point: fraternity life is full of funny, dumb little moments. Here’s some photographic proof of exactly that point.
That’s a picture of a fraternity’s pledge study hall check-in list I recently stumbled across online. It features a fun little poll titled, “Which Pledge Brothers Would You Like To See Fight Most?” Why is the poll on there? Maybe the results of the poll will be used for a future pledge death match tournament in THE RING OF FIRE! Perhaps it’s just a funny, dumb, little joke that doesn’t mean anything. Of course, if a Greek Life office figured out which house wrote the list, they’d probably at the very least send a warning email to the president, because asking your pledge class funny questions is UNFORGIVABLE HAZING! God, I hate people who are oversensitive to bad PR.
Judging from the actual results of the poll, it would appear some kid named Tanner is a stone cold fucking badass. He’s easily the most popular combatant choice of his pledge class. Either that or Tanner is a total pussy who everyone hates and wants to see get his shit kicked in by some 5-star rush who was an all-metro linebacker before blowing out his knee in an acrobatic four-way with two cheerleaders and one of their moms. Lewis was the other popular choice, so presumably the same possibilities apply to him. Props to the one pledge who chose to put himself in the ring, that’s ballsy. He deserves pledge of the week honors. Just kidding, NO PLEDGES DESERVE ACCOLADES, YOU WORTHLESS SHIT SIPPERS.
There’s also a pledge who refused to answer. Naturally he’ll have his hands tied behind his back and be forced to fight the the hobo who collects cans from the fraternity’s dumpster every Sunday morning. Only after contracting hepatitis from a vagrant’s bite will he learn the consequences of not properly following instructions.
As amusing as this is, I would like to take a moment to address the fraternity who made this study hours sheet: (*clears throat*) DON’T LEAVE SHIT LIKE THIS LAYING AROUND ON CAMPUS. I blame one of the pledges. You should make them fight as punishment.
[via Overheard at Mizzou]