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This whole dating game has gotten so complex. Everything used to be much more simple and romantic. You got blackout drunk, went home with some semi-attractive guy, and woke up the next morning, half naked, in an unfamiliar location to the rhythmic tune of “Born in the USA” being blasted by the guy’s roommate. It would be days, maybe weeks later before you’d discover that your gentleman caller was a total dick, a total creeper, or in some dark corner of campus, a total skeeze with a girlfriend.
Recently, the introduction of LuLu and Tinder has allowed 18-20 somethings to use a cell phone app to at least decide whether someone is a viable candidate if they’re not using it to meet someone in the first place. Just when I thought dating couldn’t get any more convenient within a 4G network, Iceland has upped the ante with a new app that allows two newly acquainted individuals to determine — wait for it — whether or not they’re related.
Students from the University of Iceland developed an application, aptly (get it) named Iceland App. The app can be downloaded on users cell phones, and pulls from the Icelandic genealogy website IcelandBook, which is designed to trace back all Icelandic citizens to their roots. Since it’s a small country, there’s a very good chance a young gent could share a common ancestry with the girl he’s been exchanging spit with in the bar bathroom for the past 30 minutes. Horny college kids need no longer fear. All they have to do is bump their cell phones together to exchange backgrounds and they can determine with certainty that they’re not about to bang their cousins. The app is only available in Iceland, for the time being, but I think there’s major potential here.
How useful could this app be in preventing further inbreeding in *ahem* certain parts of this country? I wouldn’t know, because I’m from civilization, but I can’t imagine the struggle a rural man must face when he takes a girl with a real purdy mouth home from the bar in his pick-up truck, only to realize she can’t accompany him to his cousin’s upcoming backyard wedding, because they share the same cousin. Karen Smith may have blurred the lines on acceptable incestuous hookups, but I certainly haven’t. I think this could be truly revolutionary down where it’s an issue.
Furthermore, could you imagine if this app becomes available in other capacities? An app that allows you to bump cell phones with the hot guy at the bar to see if he’s hooked up with any of your friends? An app that allows you to determine if the guy who’s been buying your vodka sodas all night will have that full head of hair in ten years? The possibilities are endless.
Image via CMT