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Phillies Give Away Hunter Pence Bobbleheads Three Weeks After Trading Him Away

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A lot of “What the fuck?”s and “Are you shittin’ me?”s made their way into Citizens Bank Park Tuesday as Phillies fans filed through the gates only to be greeted with a perplexing piece of memorabilia.

The Phillies celebrated slugging outfielder, Hunter Pence, on Tuesday night by giving away bobblehead dolls with his mug on them, and of course, wearing the Phil’s uni. The only thing is Pence was traded to the San Francisco Giants three weeks ago. The sold out crowd of around 44,000 were left scratching their heads as they made their ways to their seats while the front office types watched from their luxury boxes and surely let out some hearty belly laughs at the widespread confusion. I don’t like to think of this as any kind of fuck-up. In fact, I KNOW the front office got a nice chuckle out of this.

This is about how the ongoing Pence bobblehead discussion went down:


“So, I think it’s about time we do a Hunter bobble.”

“I agree. He’s due.”

“Yep. Fans love ‘im and he’ll have a great season.”

“Great representative of our organization, too. Not to mention his infectious personality. I know it’s a giveaway, but these things would sell like hotcakes.

“Hell yes. I love those damn things.”

“Great. It’s done.”


“Shit, guys. We’re terrible.”

“We could suck an inflated beach ball through a drinking straw.”

“Time to look forward to 2013 I’m afraid.

“Ehhhh, at least we have Pence bobblehead night comin’ up. That should pick the fan morale up a bit.”

“Nice! I forgot about those. Those things fucking rule!”

“Looks like we got about 40,000 of them made. Set us back a nice penny, but wait ’til you see these things. We captured Pence’s epileptic-looking hitting stride and everything. They’re just so great.”


“I think we gotta dump Hunter, guys.”

“Dammit, I agree. He’s heavy on our books and we’re out of contention. Time to cut bait.”

“Sad day. Great ballplayer.”

July 31, 2012: Hunter Pence is traded to the Giants.

August 1

“Dudes, I just remembered we’re sitting on all these Pence bobbleheads, and now he’s headed for San Fran.”

“How many again?”

“Forty large.”

“Well fuck us, right?”

“Ouch. Let’s discuss it the meeting in a few weeks.”

August 20

“So, about this bobblehead dilemma…”

“Are we gonna eat this one? Lotta cash.”

“And Hunter’s such a good kid. It’s a real shame.”

“You know what? I say fuck it. Let’s just give these motherfuckers out.”

(Laughter erupts)

“You serious, Bill?”

“Yeah, fuck it. It’ll be hilarious.”

“Love it! Those things are so fucking great.”

“These poor bastards will never see it comin’.”

(Glass clinks all around)

“Hunter’s gonna love this.”

Follow me on Twitter @RogerDornTFM

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Dillon Cheverere

Dillon Cheverere (@DCheverere) is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. Email:

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