PGA Players Survey Takeaway: Ernie Els Will Kick Your Ass

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Sports Illustrated recently released its annual anonymous PGA player survey. Questions ranged from the usual “Will Tiger ever be Tiger again?” to more timely matters, like the current GOP race and Olympic games coming up this summer.

34 percent of those surveyed identify Donald Trump as the Republican candidate they’re supporting, with the next hopeful, John Kasich, coming in fourth place with 12 percent. A solid 10 percent behind “undecided” and “none,” too. The consensus sentiment seems to be “anyone that can beat the Democrat.”

Furthermore, the overwhelming majority either doesn’t believe in moving or doesn’t care enough to move the WGC-Cadillac venue away from Trump National Doral because of “The Don’s” political stances.

Nothing really shocking here. I mean who doesn’t love Doral and paying less in taxes? It’s almost as much of a “no shit” as the vast majority of players saying they haven’t taken a woman they met at a tournament on a real date. Unless, of course, these clubhouse cleat chasers consider two rounds of vodka cranberries and three minutes of getting railed out — pissed on if it’s Tiger — behind 18 a “date.”

62 percent would rather win The Players — a non-major — over an Olympic gold medal. Almost $2 million or some $500 piece of metal that’s just going to collect dust on the ol’ trophy case? Not really a tough call, either. Especially since there’s already the Ryder Cup to represent your country. The Olympics don’t exactly hold that same historic luster and prestige when the sport was just added to the games for the first time this year.

The biggest reveal in the whole survey had to be the feeling that “The Big Easy” Ernie Els was the baddest, toughest dude on tour.


If you were to be in a bar fight, who would you want to have your back?

Ernie Els 15%
Keegan Bradley 9%
Ángel Cabrera 7%
Pat Perez 5%
Brooks Koepka 4%
No one out here 18%
Others 42%

Loose Lips: “I’ve heard some bar stories about Ernie.”

I don’t want to hear the stories of the 6’3″ South African laying waste to chumps at the bar, I NEED to hear them. Like what happened to the first guy that brought up his first hole at the Masters? Probably has a bit of his skull still on the edge of a stool, right?

He’s getting up there in age, though.

My power rankings for golfers I wouldn’t fuck with:

1. Tony Finau
2. Coked Out Dustin Johnson
3. Brooks Koepka
4. Ernie Els
5. Elin Nordegren

Really the only people on tour I’d think twice about throwing down with.


Image via Youtube

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Dan Regester

Dan Regester @Dan_Regester is a Senior Writer, Podcast Host, and Video Guy for Grandex Media. He's Delco trash to the core and a UCF cinema studies graduate because he never got around to applying to an actual film school. Dan is a gambling man, crypto investor, and procrastinator. He enjoys long walks to the water fountain between bench press sets and is not a fan of the homeless, the elderly, or the Phoenix Airport. Email tips to

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