To say Robert Allenby has had a rough year on the PGA Tour would be like saying Hulk Hogan might not be welcomed at a Sunday service in Compton, California. Forget the whole Hawaii fiasco of whether or not he got robbed, kidnapped, and beaten, or just got a little too rowdy at the strip club; dude has only made seven of twenty-one cuts all season.
Now clearly Robbie boy and myself come from the same school of thought: “It can’t possibly be my fault. Who can I pass the blame onto this time around? How about the guy closest to me.”
Yup, that’s exactly what Allenby did, going off on his caddie, Mick Middlemo, yesterday during the opening round of the RBC Canadian Open.
Middlemo told GolfChannel.com that it was Allenby who went on a profane rant, telling the caddie, “I’m so sick of this fu—– bu—— you c—.”
“I said, ‘Look, if you want someone to abuse, get someone out of the parking lot,’” Middlemo said. “And then he said it to me again and I said, ‘I dare you to call me a c— again.’ That was it.”
Middlemo stayed on the bag for the rest of the opening nine, but according to Allenby, the looper made a “smartass remark” coming off 18.
“I said, ‘You don’t deserve to be caddieing out there,’” Allenby said. “And he just got right in my face and threatened me, so I said, ‘Go.’ So he left.”
Allenby lugged his own bag from the 18th green to the first tee, where he met with a rules official to discuss his options.
That’s when Tom Fraser, a school principal from Ontario, Canada, who was outside the ropes, volunteered his services.
Allenby eventually signed for an 81 and planned to withdraw after the round.
How has this not happened with Bubba Watson yet? You’d think by now he would have had that pink driver snapped over his dome for treating his caddie like an abusive, alcoholic father treats his redheaded stepson. I guess getting torn a new asshole every time the pro fucks up is worth it so long as you’re getting paid. Allenby wasn’t making cuts, so I completely understand Middlemo having enough of his shit for no dough and pulling a Romeo from “Tin Cup” and walking off.
At 44 years old, Allenby’s best days are far behind him, but he seems delusional enough to not accept that harsh reality — which I respect the hell out of and very much relate to. Rob, when that time comes, and you no longer have a Tour card, just keep telling everyone you went out on your terms. Forget all of this “you’re not good enough anymore” nonsense. You’re just embracing all the perks that retirement has to offer. And by retirement, I mean being the pro at a Boca Raton country club and teaching middle-aged lonely housewives how to work a shaft properly..
[via Golf Channel]
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