Paul Ryan has been on the job for less than a week and he’s already doling out complaints about his new gig. The guy is known to sleep in his office because he’s not willing to cough up the dough for a nice “House of Cards” style crib like the majority of his DC brethren, meaning his office in the Capitol becomes his new home while on the job. It’s kind of weird, but whatever. I can respect someone living frugally.
Ryan is facing a daunting challenge, though, as he moves his shit into the office of the previous Speaker of the House.
As a non-smoker, Ryan has a few issues with his predecessor’s habit, and he hasn’t been shy about bashing one of America’s favorite drunk activities. He doesn’t want to live in a room caked with the smell of burnt cancer sticks, but he doesn’t exactly have much of a choice, considering Capitol maintenance crews have already hung a very elegant — likely unfathomably overpriced — wooden sign above his new door.
“They have these ozone machines, apparently, that you can detoxify the environment,” Ryan said in an interview on NBC’s “Meet the Press” Sunday. “But I’m going to have to work on the carpeting in here.”
It’s quite a challenge to worry about effectively managing one aspect of the most powerful government in the world when there are remnants of Marlboros escaping from your carpets. It’s an issue of priorities, really. Russia can wait. There’s some ash under his futon that can’t be left alone for a second longer.
Now that he’s successfully taken Boehner’s job, Ryan is letting it rip on the old guy.
“I try to sit as far away from him as I can in meetings that I know are going to be stressful,” Ryan told Time magazine last year. “I just hate getting that smell in my clothes.”
What a whiner. Suck it up, dude..
Image via Shutterstock/Christopher Halloran