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Party Your Balls Off With Gronk On His 3-Day Booze Cruise

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It’s been pretty well established that Gronk is winning at life more than just about anyone else on the planet. He tells high school kids to “Stay Hyped and Get Chicks”, he motorboats random chicks at the club, and he has a party bus that is essentially a frat house on wheels.

And now, because Gronk’s manager is a marketing genius, any one of us can party like Gronk, with Gronk, because he’s partnered with Sixthman, a firm that organizes themed cruises, to present Gronk’s Party Ship, sailing on February 19-22, 2016, from Miami to the Bahamas and back.

So what’s going to happen during the Gronk party ship weekend? According to, this:

Rob Gronkowski and his family want you to join them on a 3-day party at sea with a schedule full of his favorite bands, DJs, and comedians. Included: a round trip cruise from Miami to the Bahamas; a photo with Rob Gronkowski and your cabin mates; activities hosted by Rob Gronkowski, his family and other artists; Q&A session with the Gronkowski family; an autographed Rob Gronkowski commemorative item; live music, DJs and more on 6 stages throughout the ship.

Now, let’s think about this for a minute, guys. Despite the fact that the odds are pretty high that Gronk is a walking STD, ladies (myself included) LOVE HIM, which means hundreds of girls are going to book this cruise in an attempt to bag him. While Gronk isn’t adverse to taking his fans for a ride on the Gronk-stick, there’s only one of him. So what about the ladies who aren’t lucky enough get with him? That’s where you come in. Trickle down vagina at its finest. Hell, most of them will be so wasted, you can probably convince them you are Gronk.

How much will the chance to pick up Gronk’s leftover ladies cost you? Per the website, “per person double occupancy prices start at $700 for interiors, $850 for ocean views, and $1100 for balconies plus $225 per person taxes and fees.” Factor in another few hundred for booze (cruise alcohol ain’t cheap) and you can probably have the full Gronk experience for a little under $1,500. You can sign up for the pre-sale now with no commitment, so happy sails!

[via Gronk’s Party Ship]

Image via Shutterstock

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There really did used to be 2NOTBrokeGirls, but since one of them spent all of her money on shoes and vodka, there's now just one (financially stable) J, who is too lazy to change her user name. J spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to go to graduate school, and documenting her love of all things cheese related. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @2NOTBrokeGirls on Twitter or

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