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Part Of The ATO Anal Bottle Rocket Lawsuit Has Been Dropped

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Nothing good happens when you try to shoot things out of your ass. Around the time our nation’s colleges were plagued with a rash of ass-related incidents occurring at fraternity houses (looking at you, Pike butt-chugger), this also happened. Louis Helmberg III, the plaintiff, fell off a deck at the ATO house at Marshall U. after being scared by the guy who decided his ass was an acceptable substitute for a flat surface to launch fireworks from. The suit included the would-be pyrotechnician, Travis Hughes, the IFC, ATO itself, and the university.

Sounds like Helmberg is just looking for a payout here, but it helps if he provides the information needed by the state to continue the proceedings against a party, which he failed to do in the case of the university. That part of the suit is now being dropped. Most of the other parties still remain attached to the suit as defendants. Somewhere, there is a former risk management chairman living in disgrace because he didn’t have the pledges check incoming people at the party for fireworks, and with ATO nationals involved, that’s never good for your local chapter, even if neither guy was a member of the house. As of reporting this, though, they’re still on the Marshall Greek Life page, so it seems Marshall is much more forgiving than my Alma Mater, which would have kicked a chapter off campus instantly for that.

The question remains: why was some idiot shooting bottle rockets out of his ass on the deck of ATO’s house? I know we do some stupid shit when we get drunk, but I like to think that most people don’t immediately combine fire + their anus as a recipe for fun.

[via The West Virginia Record]

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Scientist, internet comedian, future supervillain. I still refuse to believe I've graduated college.

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