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$60 Parlay On Rickie Fowler And Sergio Garcia Nets Gambler A Cool $42,000

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I’ve thrown so much money down the drain betting golf. 50 bones here. 30 bones there. I’ll collectively spread out somewhere in the neighborhood of $100 to $500 between a dozen or so tour pros and lose or break even just about every major championship, Players, WGC, and FedEx Cup tourney. Going with my guys Koepka, Pieters, Rahm, Finau, and Fitzpatrick hasn’t exactly paid out the way I originally envisioned, but all of those dudes are due (probably not Finau) and finally hitting on one of their victories is going to be all the more special when it happens. But again, long term I’ll probably just break even with the amount I’ve already invested in these young guns (looking at you Brooks).

Despite essentially lighting money on fire making these illogical individual wagers, I can’t even begin to wrap my brain around the logic of parlaying two different players to win two different events like this dude on Bovada.

The second I submit that bet slip is the second I forget I had that money in the first place. Rickie to win the Honda? Totally reasonable to expect that to happen considering the field and how Fowler’s played the event before. But that paired with Sergio Garcia throwing on the green jacket? The same Sergio who has never really managed Augusta National well and previously admitted that he should just focus on “second or third place” in majors? That is the gambling mind of an insane person, time traveler, or individual that simply doesn’t exist — and I’m a Sergio fan. Not calling bullshit, but not not calling bullshit either, Bovada.

Just a flier on Garcia to win a major every year? I get that. You’re pumping in extra incentive to root for the Spaniard you already connect with and want to see get over the hump anyway. But the whole parlay with another player in this bet is the wild x factor that I can’t get down with no matter how ridiculous the payout is. I feel less safe in the world knowing there’s some guy out there making such a reckless decision.

But hey, this dude having either the stones or chemical imbalances in his head to make this absurd bet is the reason he’s $42,000 richer and I’m over here continuing to ride this awful streak of bad beats dating back to October.

Cubs. Leicester City. Sergio. Might be time to just put the names of the longest championship droughts on a board, throw a few darts, and parlay those into a massive payout. A man can dream, can’t he?

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Dan Regester

Dan Regester @Dan_Regester is a Senior Writer and Video Guy for Grandex Media. Delco trash. UCF alum. Famous FIJI on Wikipedia. Bit of a gambling problem. Advocate of shipping the homeless to Mars. Email tips to Dan@totalfratmove.com

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