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Parents Pissed After School Takes Kids On Field Trip To Sex Shop, Here’s How It Probably Went Down

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Parents are outraged after a Minneapolis school took their kids on a field trip to an adult novelty store as part of a sex education class.

The Gaia Democratic School led about a dozen middle school and high school-aged students into the Smitten Kitten to learn all about the fancy, vibrating trinkets they can stuff inside of themselves.

School Director Starri Hedges – who has a perfect name for the shop’s DVD collection – thought the trip was “beautiful because kids could talk to these sex educators without any shame, without any fear.” Some parents disagreed.

From Star Tribune:

“It’s just a major breach of trust,” said Lynn Floyd, whose 11- and 13-year-old daughters were part of the outing to the Smitten Kitten. “You just can’t erase those images.”

In wake of the controversy, Hedges has since expressed her regret for bringing the students — at least one of them being as young as 11 years old — on the field trip.

“It was certainly the first time we have taken that kind of field trip and it will probably be our last, which I feel bad [about] because the kids had so much fun,” Hedges said.

Grab a fake cock and loosen up, ‘rents. Like Starri said, the kids had SO much fun. I can only speculate as to what occurred within the walls of the Smitten Kitten on that fateful day, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

Here’s how I imagine the field trip went down.

TEACHER: Now children, who can tell me what this is? Suzy?

SUZY: A toy rocket ship!

JIMMY: My mommy told me it’s a fake daddy.

Suzy grabs the object and begins thwapping Jimmy with it.

JIMMY: Ouch! Stop hitting me, Dad!

TEACHER: Enough, you two! It is actually called a “dildo,” and it stimulates the female genitalia.

KIDS: Ooooooooo, aaaaaaaaahh.

TEACHER: Now, who can tell me what this is?

SUZY: It’s a pretty necklace!

TEACHER: Good try Suzy, but these are anal beads, and you should only use them if you have gone to the bathroom recently.

KIDS: Ooooooooo, aaaaaaahh.

JIMMY: Yeah, Suzy, you stupid! They’re anus beads!

SUZY: Miss Hedges, Jimmy is being a dildo!

Frustrated, the teacher grabs the dildo and retreats to the restroom.

I’m sure it was a great time for all.

[via Star Tribune]

Image via Shutterstock

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Alex Buscemi

AKA Boosh. Former high school back-up wide receiver. Author of two pretty successful Reddit comments. Recent grad from the University of South Carolina.

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