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Pakistanis Threaten To Execute Retarded 11-Year-Old Christian Girl, Because of Course They Would

People with mental handicaps have always had a special place in my heart. Case in point, one summer I headed out with a church youth group to spend the day at Six Flags. I love roller coasters almost as much as I love titties and beer, and can only fantasize what funneling a beer through a scrumptious cleavage cake of tittyness whilst corkscrewing at 70 MPH would be like. But I digress. As we pulled up to the park and began to clamber out, the youth minister grabbed a few of us aside and asked for any volunteers to chaperon this dude who had autism around the park. I was thinking to myself, “Fuck that,” because Six Flags is serious business. But unbeknownst to myself, but knownst to the youth minister, was that said dude with autism had a Flash Pass. So of course I cordially offered my assistance with three or four of my buddies and we didn’t wait in a single goddamn line the entire day. Like I said, I love the mentally handicapped.

Pakistan, however, does not love the mentally handicapped, or freedom, or making any attempt at joining the civilized world. In fact, Pakistanis are huge dickholes to the Walter Juniors of the world.

A Christian girl with Down syndrome could be punished by death in Pakistan after she was spotted holding burned pages of Islamic text in public, activists and police say.

The girl is also only 11 years old. So many lines of fucked up are being crossed in this situation it’s hard to not set fire to the nearest falafel stand. While this is a case of Islamic extremism from a minority of fucked up idiots, it is still infuriating to hear that such bullshit is still going on. I mean, shit, somebody probably set the poor girl up in the first place; there’s no way a retarded child would even know what he or she was doing, let alone the ramifications for such and act. But yeah, some burned pages of a book that is reprinted millions of times a day is more important than a child’s life.

And that, Pakistan, is the true meaning of “retarded.”

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Follow me on Twitter @CaptJackSperry

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