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Pakistan Plans Osama bin Laden Theme Park For Abbottabad

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Adding to a long line of questionable political decisions, it was confirmed today that Pakistani officials are moving forward with plans to construct an amusement park in the town of Abbottabod. As I hope you’re familiar, this gem of the Pakistani real-estate market is most infamous for playing shelter to Osama bin Laden until May 2011, when several bullets were deservingly put in his head, compliments of the United States’ own Navy SEAL Team 6.

Abbottabod apparently serves as a Hamptons-like retreat for the wealthy families of Pakistan, but after seeing Zero Dark Thirty, I’m really struggling to come to grips with what constitutes a “Pakistani vacation.” Maybe the sand is softer there, or something.

Officials maintain that the site of the proposed $30 million attraction has nothing to do with the notoriety the town received following the success of Operation Neptune Spear.

From Sky News:

The amusement city will be built on 50 acres in the first phase but later will be extended to 500 acres,” Syed Aqil Shah, the provincial minister for tourism and sports, said.

“It will have a heritage park, wildlife zoo, food street, adventure and paragliding clubs, waterfalls and jogging tracks.”

“This project has nothing to do with Osama bin Laden.

“We are working to promote tourism and amusement facilities in the whole province and this project is one of those facilities,” he said.

Sure thing, Mr. Shah. Not buying this one bit. This wouldn’t be making international headlines if it were happening ANYWHERE else.

Realistically, how big of a tourist trap can this thing possibly become? It’s in the middle of a desert, funded on less than Beyoncé’s halftime show probably cost, and the construction site was clearly picked because of the unsavory reputation it boasts worldwide as an al Qaeda cesspool.

What kind of “heritage” will the park showcase?

I’m really banking on the “Re-Live the Raid” show spectacular featuring an epic, pyrotechnic duel between bin Laden and the Navy Seals, but wouldn’t be totally disappointed with a “This is a Drone Strike!” thrill ride, either.

[via Sky News]


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Ashley Schaeffer BMW

Ashley Schaeffer was a senior contributing writer for Total Frat Move. If you thought he was a woman, he'll take that as a compliment, because he loves women. Wooh.

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