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Oregon State Theta Chi Gets Caught With Stolen Ox Statue In Their Basement

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The Oregon State chapter of Theta Chi just got caught with a stolen statue of blue cartoon ox in their basement.

From Albany Democrat Herald:

Skeels, an HVAC technician, said he was working on the boiler in the basement of the Theta Chi fraternity house when he took a wrong turn and ended up in a small storage room. There in the corner, facing the wall, was the little blue ox.

First, this is a perfect example of why non-members and service people should always be escorted. You think there’s any chance that this HVAC dude just “took a wrong turn” in the basement of a fraternity house? Best case scenario is he was looking for a interesting story to tell the guys back at the trailer park. Worst case is he discovers one of the many counts of drunken larceny stashed down there. Like this ox.

Secondly, what where you guys gonna do with an obviously stolen ox sculpture?

The Theta Chi fraternity’s flag displays the Greek letters Theta and Chi, which spell OX, in red letters on a white background with a red border. The guys who returned the statue said they had plans to paint it red, but also said it was at their house before they got there. Fraternity member Christopher Coatu, a senior studying chemical engineering at Oregon State University, said nobody at the house knew the origins of the ox.

Uh huh. Right. Sure, Chris. You’re a senior in the house and the ox was stolen two years ago. You have no idea where it came from. Nobody does.

Legally, the right move.

But for those of you that don’t know the area around Oregon State, Albany is a sprawling hick town like 20-30 miles away from Corvallis. And that ox statue isn’t like the tiniest thing, either. No, this was no spontaneous theft. Getting this ox had to be a freaking expedition, with multiple spotters, site surveillance, and lots of pre-planning. It must have been a feat, boys. Probably one heck of a story.

I guess all’s well that doesn’t result in someone pressing charges, but I’m sort of sad to see it end this way. And seriously, guys, if you’re gonna do stupid stuff like this, at least learn to hide it better.

[via Democrat Herald]

Image via Instagram/ @thetachiosu

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Doctor Franzia

*Not qualified to practice medicine*

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