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No one has ever overestimated college football players’ intelligence. Their shoddy academic records verify such claims, as do most of the players themselves who have no desire (or incentive) to flirt with the academic side of the institution which is embroidered on their chest every Saturday.
Whether or not intelligence is a stipulation of successfully sleeping in a Sleep Number bed is something I’m beginning to question. I’ve never owned a Sleep Number bed, nor could I give you any specifics as to how they are operated considering I just discovered the company is still in business as of a few minutes ago. I just simply refuse to believe that it takes anything more than a somewhat self-sufficient person to successfully operate it.
Are Ohio State football players self-sufficient members of society? If we’re judging them based on their Twitter feed, the answer is a resounding “nah.” That’s not a knock on them, it just makes me wonder how it can possibly be difficult to configure a fucking bed. Their biggest struggle of the weekend was dozing off in the team hotel the night before their game against Michigan State, so I can assume they still had a better weekend than you and I did.
Sleep number beds look so nice on tv but aren't in real life
— Jamarco Jones (@jjones_74) November 8, 2014
Does anybody know how to work a sleep number bed lol I'm struggling
— Sean Nuernberger (@Sean4Heisman1) November 8, 2014
Sleep number beds are shitty fr.
— Mr. Hill (@MichaelRealHill) November 8, 2014
@MichaelRealHill how these things work? I was just pressing all kinds of buttons lol
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) November 8, 2014
— Stephen Collier (@S13Collier) November 8, 2014
The restless night didn’t seem to faze the Buckeyes much, however, as they soundly beat Michigan State the following day.
If your biggest failure of the weekend is being unable to set up your Sleep Number bed, I’d consider it a damn good couple of days. .
Image via 800HighTech