Current Events

NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg is Just Making it Up as He Goes Along

To say Michael Bloomberg is liberal would be an understatement. The man is obscenely liberal. He’s also, if you aren’t familiar, wildly unpredictable. For example: Bloomberg hates guns, but raises money for Massachusetts Republican Scott Brown, who is staunchly against gun control. Michael Bloomberg is also anti-big soda. If it were up to Michael Bloomberg (and in New York City it is) you basically wouldn’t be able to smoke a cigarette anywhere, ever.

But like I said, Bloomberg is also unpredictable. If liberals were the gang from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Bloomberg would be Charlie.

For some reason the whole Chick-fil-A anti-gay marriage issue has angered random mayors across the country, and compelled them to speak up about it. Apparently there’s a world in which the mayors of San Francisco and Boston think I give a crap about their opinions. I don’t. I really don’t. I was interested however to hear Chicago mayor Rahm Emmanuel’s take:

“FUCK YOU Chick-fil-A! You think you can try and come into my fuckin’ town and talk shit on queers!?! Queers got rights just like fuckin’ you and fuckin’ me and your fuckin’ whore mother! Fuck your chicken. You’re welcome all you gays and lesbos out there. Know forever that Rahm Emmanuel is a friend to the queers.”

Naturally, since every other mayor in the country felt like weighing in, Bloomberg was forced to as well. To his credit at least he was asked about it in an interview, instead of annoyingly jumping in for no reason. His response, however, turned out to be another example of his “unpredictability.”

“You can’t have a test for what the owners’ personal views are before you decide to give a permit to do something in the city. You really don’t want to ask political beliefs or religious beliefs before you issue a permit. That’s just not government’s job.”

Bloomers, what the HELL are you talking about? That’s not the government’s job? How are you of all people saying that something isn’t the government’s job? You think EVERYTHING is the government’s job. You tell people the size of the soda they’re allowed to drink! I think I have a better chance of being arrested in New York for smoking a cig and chugging a big gulp than I do for jacking off on the subway. Just ask the hobos.

After this latest piece of randomness I can’t help but think that Bloomberg really is making his shit up as he goes along. I actually agree with Bloomberg on his Chick-fil-A stance. I’m not anti-gay marriage, it doesn’t affect me in the slightest so whatever, go crazy, but please everyone keep your politics off my delicious chicken.

So good for Michael Bloomberg for getting one right, although it seems like it was probably by accident.

Email this to a friend

8 Comments You must log in to comment, or create an account
Show Comments

For More Photos and Videos

Latest podcasts

Download Our App

Take TFM with you. Get

New Stories

Load More