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This whole retweet giveaway deal is getting out of hand. First, you have nugget boy — who I hope is called nugget boy for the rest of his life, this “free nuggets for a year” business serving as his soon-to-be-maligned monkey paw — who is never even going to reach the nugget-necessary 18,000,000 retweets without some bailout retweets from failing Twitter. SAD!
Plenty of other people have since followed suit, whoring out their followership and dignity in hopes of catching the attention of some random dude sitting behind a computer who represents a corporation that’s almost certainly benefiting from some unethical practices that would appall you if you were aware of them (which you never will be, since they are doing such a good job of covering it up). Damn; that was dark. Sorry. Been listening to a lot of Father John Misty lately.
One example of a hooker in this retweet prostitution ring is FiFi Galvan, a member of Pi Kappa Alpha at Northwestern State University of Louisiana.
I’m torn between respecting FiFi’s hustle and wishing this fad would die. I hope you get free tuition, Feefs. That’d be cool. And I hope you inspire people through the work you do with the college degree you get partly because of said free tuition. But I hope you don’t inspire people to keep begging for handouts on Twitter. This must end.
Unless it involves bringing a porn star to formal. That can stay..
Image via Twitter/@nsula