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News Reporter Puts Drunk Girl In Her Place With “How Long Have You Had An STD?”

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An Orlando news reporter may have given us the best on-camera performance since Bill O’Reilly decided to do it live.

Like thousands of other media members covering the Super Bowl, Jessica Sanchez, a traffic reporter for Local 6 Orlando’s morning show, was giving a live report from New Orleans to get the “pulse” of the city. Since she usually works the 5am to 7 shift, her bosses felt it appropriate to give her the same god-awful time slot on Bourbon Street. But unlike the quiet streets of early-morning Orlando, this was the heart of New Orleans on Super Bowl week. Not surprisingly, she was interrupted by one of the inebriated people she had just described wandering around the city like zombies.

The timing in this is amazing. Just as she finishes describing “the glazed look” on the faces of the stragglers around her, one of them walks up with the perfect drunken, sloppy “heyyyyy.” Then, like any good drunk getting ready for a sporting event, she uses her time in front of a camera to give a shout out to her team. And, of course, she’s ready for an interview. What self-respecting TV reporter wouldn’t want to talk to a waste case in the middle of the night?

That’s when Jessica turns the tables. The idiotic waste-of-time fluff peace about the “feel of Bourbon Street” is quickly audibled into a story about STDs. Jessica drops maybe the line of the year when she asks the drunk 49ers fan how long she’s had an STD. Not if, but how long. Way to go for the jugular. After the fan says she doesn’t have one, Jessica drops the most perfectly bitchy “So then why did you want to talk?”

After the fan is reassured she has nothing to be ashamed of and walks off (squeezing one more “Go 49erssssss!” before she leaves), Jessica continues with her thrilling report on street sweepers and Pine Sol spray used to try to disinfect the city. While she’s stuck describing the city that “smells like somebody vomited a car freshener,” the fan goes on to merrily roam the city, drink still in hand.

It’s easy to understand why a reporter would snap in that situation. She’s standing on Bourbon Street and giving a 5:15am television report for a local news channel that only coal miners and crazy people are awake to watch. Even on Bourbon Street most people have the sense to get home before 5 in the morning on a Wednesday. Although reactions to her report have been mixed, Jessica Sanchez is a hero for handling a drunk with a perfect one-liner.

We should also feel bad for her. Deep down she knows she would have rather been the drunk one wandering Bourbon Street by herself and photobombing television news reports in the middle of the night.

[via WKMG]

Image via WKMG


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Rex Reagan

Rex Reagan is a contributing writer for Total Frat Move.

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