A new law in New York has completely changed the hookup game for college students in the state. Instead of the classic “no means no” approach to countering instances of rape on campuses, a new “yes means yes” rule has been implemented. Basically, for every step you make, you will be required to verbally ask for permission before proceeding.
In New York, there is now on all college campuses. A bill signed into law July 7 requires both parties to obtain consent for sex and each nibble and caress that sometimes paves the way. The law applies only on college campuses. At its heart is a simple concept: instead of “No Means No,” it’s “Yes Means Yes.”
“Can I kiss you?”
“Can I grab your left breast?”
“Can I grab your right breast?”
“Can I paint you red and pee on you like a dirty little fire hydrant?”
This plan ruins the flow of things. Better idea: written hookup contracts carried by students whenever they go out. First, mark everything on the list that you would be comfortable consenting to in the bedroom. Then, both parties must review the terms of one another’s contracts and sign the paper before proceeding physically (Bonus: if a girl has like a hundred signatures, you know to steer clear).
[x] 1st Base
[x] 2nd Base
[x] 3rd Base
[ ] All the way
[ ] Butt Stuff
[X] Fire Hydrant Stuff
An even better solution would be mandatory camera installations in every dorm room, and I would like to be the first one to personally volunteer to review all of the footage for instances of foul play. Anything to make sex safer for the kids..