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New Study Reveals In Which States Men Have The Longest Sex

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They say Virginia is for lovers. Sure, I guess, if you like having a shamefully embarrassing two-minute bang sesh with your woefully unsatisfied significant other. That’s not even enough time to get through ONE R. Kelly song. Where’s the romance in that? No, if you want a quality sexual experience, ladies, head to New Mexico, where the men last a Herculean (by the standards of this poll…and my own experiences) 7:01.

According to Nerve, who tracked statistics from length, thrust, and sexual noise measuring app Spreadsheets, which apparently exists, the states in which sex lasts the longest are more or less completely random. Here, replete with average sexual encounter length, is the full list (D.C. included):

1. New Mexico—(7:01)

2. West Virginia—(5:38)

3. Idaho—(5:11)

4. South Carolina—(4:48)

5. Missouri—(4:22)

6. Michigan—(4:14)

7. Utah—(3:55)

8. Oregon—(3:51)

9. Nebraska—(3:47)

10. Alabama—(3:38)

11. Delaware—(3:33)

12. Hawaii—(3:28)

13. Wisconsin—(3:22)

14. North Dakota—(3:18)

15. Arizona—(3:17)

16. Maryland—(3:15)

17. Mississippi—(3:10)

18. Rhode Island—(3:09)

19. Connecticut—(3:07)

20. Texas—(3:06)

21. New Hampshire—(3:04)

22. Wyoming—(3:03)

23. New York—(3:01)

24. Pennsylvania—(2:58)

25. Maine—(2:58)

26. Washington—(2:51)

27. Iowa—(2:50)

28. Illinois—(2:49)

29. North Carolina—(2:47)

30. Tennessee—(2:46)

31. Kansas—(2:38)

32. California—(2:38)

33. Massachusetts—(2:31)

34. Florida—(2:29)

35. New Jersey—(2:28)

36. Indiana—(2:26)

37. Virginia—(2:23)

38. Oklahoma—(2:21)

39. Colorado—(2:21)

40. Minnesota—(2:19)

41. Ohio—(2:18)

42. Louisiana—(2:17)

43. Kentucky—(2:14)

44. Arkansas—(2:08)

45. District of Columbia—(2:08)

46. Nevada—(2:07)

47. Georgia—(2:07)

48. Montana—(2:03)

49. Vermont—(1:48)

50. South Dakota—(1:30)

51. Alaska—(1:21)

As usual, the SEC has more teams in the top 10 than anyone else. The reality is that it’s hard to find any actual reason for the rankings at all, except that the top 5 states do lots of meth. Even still, with states like Arkansas in the bottom ten, it’s clear that even the meth theory doesn’t work. So, congratulations on being randomly great at sex, states that are randomly great at sex.

The real takeaway from this, for me, is that there’s an app that measures sexual performance. Looks like my friends and I have something new to make bets on.

[via The Daily Dot]

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