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New Sexual Consent App Is Awkward And Slightly Terrifying

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Sexual assault is a huge issue in our country, and the line between consent and force is becoming increasingly blurred. Because of this, one would think that any innovation designed to help alleviate the gray area would be welcome. Well, think again. Meet Good2Go, a new app that purports to help solve the problem of establishing consensual sex between two parties.

It’s super simple. First, you download the app and fill out a profile. Then, the next time you’re about to take the midnight train to Bonesville with someone, you stop all foreplay activities and hand her your phone. The app asks, “Are we Good2Go?” (branding is key). Assuming she chooses yes, she’s directed to another screen that reminds her, “Remember! No means No! Only Yes means Yes, BUT can be changed to NO at anytime!” as if she’s from another country and doesn’t realize she has the right to not do anything she doesn’t want to do here. Then, another screen pops up and asks if she is “Sober,” “Mildly Intoxicated,” “Intoxicated but Good2Go,” or “Pretty Wasted.” By the way, you’re shit out of luck if she chooses “Pretty Wasted.” The app then informs her that she “cannot consent,” and she is instructed to give the phone back to you, which is pretty fucking bossy as far as phones go. Assuming she doesn’t choose the “go directly to jail” option, she’s forwarded to yet another screen where she’s asked if she has an account. Let’s assume she doesn’t, since, at this point, basically no one does. The app then asks for her phone number and a password of her choosing, and then it sends a six-digit code to her phone, which she is supposed to use to confirm that it is, indeed, she who is inputting all of this information.

Assuming this all goes according to plan, you are then informed by your phone that your partner is Good2Go, but it reminds you (Because you’re an idiot, remember?) that a “yes” can still become a “NO at anytime!” So, effectively, this app helps nothing. If a girl goes through the effort of consenting on the app, changes her mind later in the course of sexual activities, and is then raped, her use of the app will make her case more difficult to prove. In terms of males trying to cover their liability for potential cases of false accusation, the app does jack shit, because the girl in question can just say that she changed her mind after the fact. And as the app so intensely reminds you, a “yes” can change to a “no” at any time.

Not to mention that even if the app performs its function and you have zero problems after the fact, you now have a record on your phone of every time you’ve ever been rejected. And, by the way, that number is going to go way up if your new seduction method is to get things going hot and heavy and then pull out an app that talks down to the girl you’re with like she has the mental capacity of a drunken fifth grader. Ladies love that shit.

Thanks for trying, though. We appreciate it.

[via Slate]

Image via Good2Go

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Sterling Cooper

Sterling Cooper is a contributing writer for Total Frat Move and Post Grad Problems. He has never understood why people like sand, and has been in a bitter ten year rivalry with Muggsy Bogues, for reasons neither of them choose to reveal.

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