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New Al-Qaeda Group Off To A Rough Start, Mistakes Pakistani Frigate For American Aircraft Carrier In Botched Attack

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The past few months have provided the world with some of the most gruesome headlines I have ever read. Whether it’s ISIS, Syria, Libya, or just some random idiot thousands of miles away, there is some frightening shit going on. As our news cycles are overwhelmed by horror stories regarding these extremist groups, it’s refreshing to read a story that reminds us of the true nature and intelligence of these common enemies. While horrifyingly graphic, these guys may make up the one group on Earth that can make a pledge appear to have an iota of a brain cell.

Al-Qaeda recently launched a new branch in India, and shit started rolling downhill almost immediately. The group’s first mission was to attack a United States aircraft carrier; however, a bunch of Pakistani sailors put an end to that. The Pakistanis weren’t guarding our vessel or providing any sort of security for the United States, though. Instead, the terrorists were too damn stupid to distinguish between a Pakistani naval frigate and a United States aircraft carrier.

From NY Daily News:

“They did not do any kind of damage, some were captured and we caught more, seven so far, and may be more to come. They were well-equipped and came with there intention of taking a ship into their custody but they were caught in the initial stages.”

The Pakistanis managed to kill three morons and arrest seven others.

For anyone terrified of these groups, take a deep breath–those guys aren’t all there. They believed they could actually capture one of the most powerful ships in the world, after all.

[via NY Daily News]

Image via Wikimedia

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Bogey Wells

Bogey Wells is a Senior Freelance Writer for TFM News and a former summer pledge intern at TFMHQ. His Spotify playlists are pure garbage. Email:

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