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While wasting time in class on Facebook, I stumbled upon an application for a semi-formal that one of my friends had made for her sorority sister at my alma mater, Sarah. Sarah seems like a lovely, cute, southern sorority girl, but since when has making an application for a sorority or fraternity date function become a thing?
Dorn covered one last week, but that was just a last-minute desperation attempt. Of course, after that one, copycats are bound to come up. Sarah was not immune to being a copycat. Check out her application:
I thought I’d take a crack at filling it out to see if she’d let me go with her. To be fair to this girl, her friends made this one, but it’s still ridiculous.
What is your name?
What is your height?
6’1″. I feel like I’m on Tinder now with these height requirements.
Would you buy me drinks?
Yes. Is it really a semi-formal if you’re not drinking?
On a scale of 1-10 how fun of a date would you be?
Eleven. I’m so fun, I don’t even bother using scales.
Would you Instagram a picture of us?
Yes, because otherwise, people wouldn’t know I was having fun.
If yes, how many likes would we get?
I’d say 26 to 50. I average a solid 43.4 likes per picture I’m in, although most of them are with my puppy.
Would you text me the day after and tell me you had a good time?
Yes, once my crippling hangover went away.
Would you kiss me goodnight?
Yes, as long as our picture had already gotten 20 likes on Instagram.
If no, why?
See above answer.
What fraternity are you in?
Well, at least you’re making smart decisions by not going with a GDI.
Will you be available December 6th?
It is 10 days before Hanukkah starts, but I’m not Jewish, so I’m sure I’ll be free.
Provide the following usernames: Instagram, Twitter, Facebook
Just look at the bottom of the article. It’s there if you want it.
How attractive are you?
I like to think of myself as a slight upgrade of “average.” So, “kinda cute.”
Would you buy me Taco Bell after?
As long as you’re not ashamed to see someone reach double digits on a Taco Bell receipt.
Seriously though, cut this survey shit out. Just go ask someone. It’s not that difficult. If you actually know Sarah and have seen this survey, I’m not sure why it exists. She’s cute, guys–fill it out..