“Muscular Frat Boy” Attacks Random Guy, Yells “This Is Because You Look Exactly Like Shia LaBeouf!”

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Out of all the celebrities you would choose to look like, Shia LaBeouf is probably not one of them. Not that he’s a bad looking dude, it’s just that he’s a fucking lunatic. A lot of people don’t like crazy Shia and his bizarre antics, and that’s why it doesn’t surprise me that this happened.

From CBS News:

Sometimes resembling a celebrity is not all it’s cracked up to be.

New York City resident Mario Licato, for instance, got quite the unpleasant surprise just for resembling “Transformers” star Shia LaBeouf.

Licato was exiting a Lower East Side subway station Saturday evening when an unidentified man sucker-punched him, sending him hurtling down the steps back into the station. “I didn’t even see the guy. I just see his fist coming towards me. It knocked me, and while I was falling down the stairs, all I hear was, ‘This is because you look exactly like Shia LaBeouf,'” Licato tells Gothamist.

The attacker was right, though. Dude does look a shit ton like Shia.

Honestly, this is not the stupidest reason I’ve ever heard for someone getting sucker-punched. At least he had a reason. Some assholes out there go around punching whomever, whenever for no reason at all. It’s terrifying to think about, really. With those jerks, you could be punched at any time. Constant fear? No bueno. The world would benefit from all sucker-punchers being like this guy, only punching dudes who look like Shia LaBeouf. That only leaves like 8 dudes who have to constantly cower in fear and keep their head on a swivel like Shia in Eagle Eye.

Despite the fact that he’s one of the good sucker-punchers, he’s still an asshole. And luckily for Licato (and us), some passersby got a glimpse of the suspect.

A couple who assisted Licato following the incident — which left him briefly unconscious — said the attacker was a muscular man in his mid-20s who resembled a frat boy. Licato was treated at the scene by EMTs, though the treatment was less than satisfactory.

This seems like it’d be bad PR for fraternity dudes, but honestly the majority of this country probably supports what he did. Now, as far as that description of the suspect goes… a muscular man in his mid-20s who resembles a frat boy and is also insane enough to punch somebody for looking like Shia LaBeouf?

Sounds like the work of Shia LaBeouf to me.

[via CBS News]

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Jared Borislow

Jared Borislow (né The DeVry Guy) is a Senior Writer for Grandex Inc and a 2015 graduate of the University of Wisconsin.

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