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My Dick Is Not Out For Mshindi, Harambe’s Replacement

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gorilla harambe cincinnati zoo

I can’t. I just… I need a minute.


With a crowd of media and zoo visitors in attendance and a new barrier in place, the Cincinnati Zoo’s Gorilla World exhibit reopened Tuesday morning.

“Today is a big day,” Cincinnati Zoo director Thane Maynard told the assembled crowd of local and national media. “Cincinnati is ready to see gorillas again.”

The biggest part of that big day? Unveiling Harambe’s replacement, Mshindi.

Have you no sympathy, Cincinnati Zoo? Harambe was only 17 years young when he died, and you go and replace him just ONE YEAR after his death?! We haven’t had time to properly mourn. SMDH. The disrespect is unreal.

I don’t know who this Mshindi guy thinks he is, but I do know he has some big, glove-like shoes to fill. The hype for Mshindi is now bigger than ever and continues to grow with each passing day. That being said, we can’t take in the new without showing respect to the old. I’m calling you out, Cincinnati Zoo. Y’all better have a full-size statue outside of Harambe’s old exhibit like Shaq’s outside of the Staples Center. And when I say “like Shaq’s outside of the Staples Center,” I mean that literally. I want Harambe crashing the boards with a halo hanging over his head, tongue out like Jordan, 17 arrows in his left foot-hand symbolizing the 17 years of joy he brought us before his untimely death, and an olive branch in his other foot-hand symbolizing his strong desire for peace but his readiness to throw down in a river if it came down to that.

The Cincinnati Zoo may have replaced Harambe in the exhibit, but they can never replace him in our hearts.


Image via Shutterstock

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