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Most Hated GDI of the Week: Administration

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Behind every successful Greek system in the country there is a conniving, pure evil entity pulling the puppet strings to their favor. While we as organizations understand the reason we exist (read: partying to an unsafe extent on a regular basis) this diabolical institution throws out garbage like “social probation” and “dry rush” to quell our belligerent tendencies. I’m speaking, of course, about the dreaded administration that oversees us all, and makes our pursuit of a good time just a little more difficult.

I’m sure a few schools out there may have a decent, Greek-friendly system, but for the majority of the country the battle between fraternities and the campus bigwigs is an ongoing struggle. Naturally, it’s a completely unfair fight, and we face the hammer of the law consistently from these fiends. I’m all for ensuring safety and people not getting arrested. That’s just fine. But I’ll never understand why some administrations take a personal vendetta against the Greeks they oversee. There’s a fine line between dangerous risks fraternities (take ziplines from the roof for instance) and a totally normal night of fraternal extravagance. I don’t see police officers making arrests for jaywalking, so why would administration feel the need to stifle our daily habits?

I’ve seen what’s happened recently in schools like Texas and South Carolina, so I know I’m not alone on this one. We are, as a whole, being fucked by the long dick of the law, and we must stand together to prevent these gross overpunishments. Between all the social limitations, suspensions, and “double secret probation,” we are at a pivotal crossroads over which we must persevere. My advice? Keep doing exactly what you’ve been doing. They can rip the charter from my cold, dead fingers if they want it that badly, but I refuse to sit idly by and let this obvious discrimination of Greeks continue. We are the future leaders of this country, and the current leaders of our respective campuses. No organization holds even a sliver of the sway that Greeks as a whole have, and it’s about time the admins began taking note. I don’t care what letters you slap on your chest, in the war between Greeks and administration, there is only one brotherhood.

And to any administrators that somehow stumble across this column, I have a message for you as well. And no, it isn’t a “Fuck you,” believe it or not. All I can say is: lighten up. You were in college once too, and I bet damn sure you’d still be able to pull a decent kegstand if you tried. Most fraternities have existed for over a century; 100+ years full of blackouts, slampieces, and good old fashioned tradition. We’re not going to let you change the way we do things now, so don’t even bother.

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StuffFratPeopleLike (@StuffFratsLike) is a writer for Total Frat Move, and due to his crippling OCD and functional alcoholism he can only understand and write text when presented in a numbered list format. So you're all jerks for calling him out on it. He is a self described Huguenot, and commands a secret sexual fetish for angry internet comments.

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