Lots of WWE performers have made the transition into the world of mixed martial arts. Brock Lesnar…probably more (I don’t really follow either sport). It’s understandable. They’re fed up with people saying they can’t actually fight because WWE is staged, or that their only fans are white trash satiating a deep-seeded, repressed homosexuality by watching buff dudes in spandex choke each other from behind.
I get it, insecure WWE guys. I’ve also felt the need to drop the simulation and prove myself at the real thing before. One time, I straight up owned some kid in Dead or Alive on Xbox Live and he was all, “I could beat yore ass in the real wuhld, mate.” Still waiting on you to get your bitch ass out of Ireland and down to Austin, Texas so I can take you in a real fight, XxAssa55inBillyxX, you ginger bitch. Speaking of Dead or Alive, how realistic were the tit physics in that game?
Following in the footsteps of Lesnar and probably others, a WWE performer by the name of CM Punk is now stepping out of show biz and into the octagon. But like those before him, Mr. Punk is catching some flack from the naysayers. At a Q&A event on Friday, an inexplicably angry man had some heated words for the rising UFC fighter.
No idea what the tough guy’s last name is, but Dylan here has “serial killer” written all over him. Punk handles the situation admirably.
“You might remember me from Twitter blowing you up all the time asking you for a fight,” the audience member says.
“No. ‘You might remember me from Twitter,’ is the greatest Troy McClure ‘The Simpsons’ never used.” Punk says.
“Are you finished?”
“I’m not finished – I’m here all day – but guess who’s finished. You are. Bye bye.”
Noticeably angered, the dude in the hoodie then goes off on some rant about Mexican people before topping off the spiel by asking, “Are you scared to fight me ’cause you know I’d beat your face up like I beat your sister’s pussy cat up?”
I’m sorry. Did you just call a vagina a “pussy cat?”
Punk then says, “I’m on stage, bitch, get the fuck out,” which was kind of a non-sequitur. He should have accepted the challenge and destroyed the weird little man onstage. I’m sure Punk would have gotten in trouble with the organization, maybe lost a sponsorship or two, but it would have been worth it to squash a hater in front of everyone, including his hot ass wife, WWE’s A.J. Lee.
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