Miss Wisconsin Invited The World To Come Sniff Her Ass At The Miss America Pageant Last Night

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As a graduate of the University of Wisconsin, I’ve hooked up with plenty of Miss Wisconsins. Granted, that’s only because the recipient of the First Place Heifer Award at the Dane County Fair in Madison is dubbed “Miss Wisconsin,” and I went through a bestiality phase sophomore year after being neglected by human females for so long, but it still counts. One of them was even a Chick-fil-a model. You say, “That’s fucked up.” I say “SCOREBOARD!!!”

Apparently, there is also a human version of Miss Wisconsin. Although she lacks the beautifully imperfect spots and long, moist snout of a proper Oconomowoc Hereford, she’s still quite a looker. And, evidently, she likes having her bum smelled.

Everybody who has lived in Wisconsin (or passed through a Wisco gas station) knows this joke. It’s a Dairy State classic, and I respect her for bringing it to the masses even though most people who watched her impromptu stand up routine thought Wisconsinites just always want you to sniff their turd cutters.

Real talk though, the stars of this Vine are the other Miss America contestants dancing on the golf course in the background. I have never seen a more awkward group of chicks in my life, and I go to the Dane County Fair every year. Even worse than the dancing is the fact that they drove the golf cart right up onto the green like a bunch of savages. Someone call the marshal.

[via Twitter]

Image via Vine

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Jared Borislow

Jared Borislow (né The DeVry Guy) is a Senior Writer for Grandex Inc and a 2015 graduate of the University of Wisconsin.

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