2016 was a rough year in many regards, but there’s no need to worry because 2017 is already the greatest goddamn year in the history of human existence for just one simple reason: all the shit I’m about to tell you.
Soulja Boy, the horrifically incompetent hip hop artist who was already washed up in 2009, has been having some serious beef with Chris Brown, the admittedly talented artist who’s also a massive pile of shit. Now, you may be asking, “What caused this beef?” Well, that’s irrelevant. This is hip-hop, baby. Beef can be started over anything or for no reason whatsoever — that’s the beauty of it. Kendrick could make a track dissing J. Cole for not understanding the ending to Inception and i’d listen to it at least 15 times in a row. If you do want to read about what caused the beef, though, click here to have a white dad from the burbs explain it to you.
The beef has continued to escalate in the most incredible fashion possible. Apparently, there’s allegedly going to be a big boxing match between Soulja Boy and Chris Brown. Seriously. Floyd Mayweather is training Soulja Boy (it’s a perfect match; the 2 illiterates), and Mike Tyson is training Chris Brown.
Now let’s be totally 100% honest — obviously this whole situation SCREAMS “publicity stunt/hoax”, so there’s a really high chance they’re all just fucking with us. This feels even more apparent now that Mike Tyson recorded a diss track against Soulja Boy. Again, I’m dead serious. I doubt Mayweather is gonna write any raps against Chris due to his illiteracy (two “Floyd Mayweather can’t read” jokes in one article; I’d be scared he’d beat me up except I can guarantee he won’t read this (three!)).
The full song will be released soon, says Iron Mike.
So… Yeah. I don’t know what the fuck is going on either..
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