I recently wrote up a mediocre article about the ridiculously entertaining ongoing beef between Chris Brown and Soula Boy. Long story short, this little random feud has escalated to the point where Chris Brown and Soulja Boy are actually set up to have a legit boxing match (yes, seriously). To make matters even more bizarre, Mike Tyson is training Chris Brown for the fight, and Floyd Mayweather was reportedly training Soulja Boy up until recently. On top of that, Mike Tyson recorded and released a rap song dissing Soulja Boy, because why the fuck not? This jam is entitled “If You Show Up,” and it’s…. Interesting. The music video is weird as fuck and must be seen to be believed.
But this already incredible story just took a another turn, and somehow became even more magnificent. Rumor has it Iron Mike is now in the process of recording his debut rap album.
Recently, Damon Elliot, the producer of “If You Show Up” commented on it, saying that him and Mike are collaborating and working on putting together a whole collection of songs to compile into a full album. In the past, Elliot has produced for heavy hitters like Bone Thugs-N-Harmony and Destiny’s Child. Needless to say, shit is about to get real.
If this isn’t the most amazing news you’ve ever read in your whole entire life, you’re dead inside. If you’re not literally doing dozens of backflips at the idea of this while doing the Macarena and chanting glorious religious hymns to celebrate this wonderful story, you need to reevaluate your life. This is the greatest thing to ever happen to North America.
Imagine it. For real. Lay down, close your eyes and just fucking IMAGINE this. Envision what it’d be like to hear Iron Mike’s lispy voice awkwardly stumble through some hard hitting, banging beats for 30-60 minutes. Imagine the possible guest verses. Maybe “50 Thent?” Hell, maybe even “Thlim Thady” or “Kanye Wetht?” Holy shit, will they find a way to resurrect “Biggie Thmallth” and “Tupac Thakur?!” The possibilities are endless. To be honest, I get half hard just thinking about it.
Is this whole entire situation (the beef, the fight, this upcoming album) a giant hoax? Who knows. But if this shit is true, then get ready, because life as we know it as about to change forever.
Thank you, God..
Image via Instagram