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Mike Pence Says Media Would Have Covered A Firebombed Democratic Office Differently, Is Right, No One Cares

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Two important things to note before I start:

1) After the Orange County Republican headquarters in North Carolina were firebombed, Democrats from both the area and around the country raised north of $13,000 in mere hours of the creation of the GoFundMe page they used to help reopen the GOP offices.

2) I haven’t watched any Fox News coverage of this but I have to assume their outrage tended to be a smidge higher than, say, whatever Huffington Post writers typed about it with their left hands while high-fiving everyone else in the office with their right hands. And considering Fox News is the highest rated cable news channel in America it definitely qualifies as mainstream media.

So no, it’s not like Democrats are celebrating a Republican office being firebombed, at least not any rational ones. And any irrational liberals who are celebrating aren’t worth listening to now anymore than they are when they tell you white people have no real culture as they sip a German-style beer before telling you that you have to watch You’re The Worst. Also, large media outlets definitely have covered this with an appropriate level of disappointment and derision. Hell even Vox called it unacceptable.

Still, when Mike Pence said today outside of the burned out offices that the media would be covering this incident differently if some militia enthusiasts had polished off a bottle of Wild Turkey, filled it with gasoline, tossed a Molotov cocktail into a Democrat office, and spray painted a hateful message next to it, he wasn’t wrong. If anything it was an understatement.

You “can’t help but think,” Mike? I hope Pence is always this polite when he’s pissed. “I can’t help but think, Donald, that, ‘She’s too ugly for me to want to sexually assault’ shouldn’t be one of your main defenses. It doesn’t really play to the suburban Philadelphia mom crowd.”

The point is, though, that Pence isn’t complaining about a lack of media coverage, or even that the tone of the media’s coverage of this incident isn’t appropriate. His point is mostly that, if some conservatives had firebombed a Democratic office, the media’s lede would be more along the lines of, “Civil war imminent, soon we will all know fire and death.” Or, in Buzzfeed’s case, “12 Easy Ways To Flood Proof Your Home From The Rivers Of Blood Sure To Deluge America On November 9th.”

Could that be an exaggeration? I guess. I mean, it’s not like the media has recently unnecessarily overhyped something as irrelevant as a random soundbite from a single, lone, lunatic Trump supporter or anything.


Whatevs! There’s obviously no way there’s any liberal out there who legitimately thinks Trump should be sent to his gold coffin early.

Imagine how inflammatory the media coverage would have been if Republicans burned down a Democratic office.

Every state college kid rocking an “I’m With Her” bumper sticker would be half-expecting a Busch fueled redneck to pop out with an AR-15 and pump their car full of what the media would have them believe was the new standard form of political dissent (bullets, of course) any time they wandered too far into townie territory, because there are no Sonics near campus.

“OMG please BE. CAREFUL. I love you,” would get texted to any liberal who told their friends, “I’m going to Texas for the weekend.”

A Hillary Clinton rally held on a campus that’s 97% liberal, and hundreds upon hundreds of miles away from the office that was burned, would be considered “brave.” A Reagan-Bush ’84 t-shirt would be a micro-aggression. A Trump sign would be a hate crime.

Those last three are probably things that happen regardless, actually.

If there wasn’t already so much pearl clutching, doomsday prepping, and general hysteria surrounding this election I would actually regret not getting to witness the reverse of this situation, and see the media’s — and liberal America’s — bowels void with a totality only previously thought to be possible if you stuck your bare ass out the window of the space shuttle to moon a Chinese satellite.

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