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Test banks and grade manipulation are one of the more well-known gray areas of the fraternal tradition. Like SEC over-recruiting, everyone does it, and the only time there are ramifications is when left-out tattletales rip the gentlemen’s agreement to pieces because they are jealous.
Your hush-hush con job, however, is a mere bloop single up the gap compared to the four-bagger scam that these two Miami-OH Phi Delts pulled off to help elevate the house GPA.
Two 21-year-old fraternity brothers charged with hacking into Miami University computers and changing their grades were headed for more serious felony charges and possibly prison. But Miami officials said they bartered those charges down to misdemeanors in exchange for the former students’ cooperation.
Beckley Munson Parker of Weston, Conn. – who made the President’s List for having a 4.0 average during the time he is accused of changing his grades – and David Lucien Callahan, of Cambridge, Mass., each were charged Monday with attempted use of theft of property involving a computer, cable or telecommunications device.
Parker is accused of changing more than 70 grades over four academic semesters with more than two dozen involving classwork for fellow Phi Delta Theta members. University officials said that most didn’t know their grades had been changed and that Parker changed those grades to cover his tracks. He faces six counts of the misdemeanor charge.
Callahan also told police that there was a “test bank” on an external hard drive containing midterm and final exams at the Phi Delta Theta house that fraternity members used to get better grades.
I love the idea of someone possibly going to jail for changing grades and having a test bank. Has classic cinematic reenactments written all over it.
*scene: Shawshank Fraternity*
Sgt. At Arms Norton: I’m sure you’ve heard by now that the police have been sniffing around.
JI Parker: I’m done. Everything stops. Get someone else to raise your GPA.
Sgt. At Arms Norton: Nothing stops. Nothing…or you will do the hardest social probation there is. No more protection from the pledge trainer.
(And then Parker somehow does bows and toes through 500-yards of smelling foulness only a pledge could imagine. Segues are for GDIs. /scene.)
So, here’s a toast to the guys throwing our test banks under the bus. To Beckley Parker and David Callahan, the only
guilty TFTC men in Shawshank.
Image via Waymarking