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Miami Delts Are Excited for Paul Ryan’s Candidacy

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There has been a lot of excitement around Paul Ryan after he was chosen as the other half of America’s handsomest presidential ticket since McKinley/Hobart. Perhaps no one is more excited for Ryan than his past and current fraternity brothers in Delta Tau Delta at the University of Miami (OH) Miami University. While speaking with The Politicker, Miami Delt’s Sergeant at Arms, Joseph Gorman, said that Ryan’s candidacy was “…positive for Greek life on Miami’s campus,” he added that Ryan’s Vice Presidential nomination was an “…opportunity to see Greek life as a positive thing.” Gorman neglected to add that Ryan’s nomination was also pretty much one of the greatest reasons ever to get shitfaced and rage.

According to Gorman, rumor has it that Representative Ryan will be making a stop by his old frat castle, dubbed “The Shelter” by members of the fraternity. That visit will no doubt be preceded by one of the most intense weeks of pledge cleaning in fraternity history. Hopefully, regardless of the state of the house when Ryan arrives, he’ll still bitch out the pledges for their awful job and call them the worst pledge class ever. That’s true leadership.

The Politicker also saw fit to ask Gorman whether or not there were any legendary fraternity stories about Representative Ryan from his college days. Gorman told the publication that he couldn’t recall any, musing that Ryan was a “more conservative” guy back in the day from what he had heard. Yeah right, Politicker, like one of Ryan’s fraternity brothers is going to sell him down the river. You’re going to have to work a little harder and dig a little deeper if you want to find out any of Ryan’s dirty partying secrets. I’d start by figuring out whether Ryan and Ben Roethlisberger ever partied together at any famous alumni events. Always start with Roethlisberger, and work your way back from there.

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