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This Cocaine Smuggler With Massive Honkers Should Get International Amnesty

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Melina Roberge

Isabelle Lagacé, 28, and Melina Roberge, 22, of Quebec, saw their cruise across half the globe cut short on Sunday thanks to the Australian Federal Police. According to The Star, the two were detained in Sydney after drug dogs found 95 kilograms of booger sugar (worth $30.5M) in their suitcases, along with those of a third suspect, who is a 63-year-old man.

Here are the two girls on Instagram:

A photo posted by @melinar___ on

Yeah, they are hot. Sadly, this kind of infraction can carry a lifetime sentence in Australia. Apparently, local coke prices in Sydney are much higher than other areas of the world. So really, the girls were just trying to get a high ROI on their product. That’s what we call a smart business decision. I don’t think we can come down too hard on these girls, though.

I mean look at Melina. We can’t keep something that looks this good locked away in a prison for the rest of time.

A photo posted by @melinar___ on

A photo posted by @melinar___ on

A photo posted by @melinar___ on

A photo posted by @melinar___ on

A photo posted by @melinar___ on

A photo posted by @melinar___ on

A photo posted by @melinar___ on

Having her rot away in a cell for the next 53 years would be a crime in and of itself. Do the right thing, Australia. Cut a deal with the two girls to turn on the 63-year-old man and let them run free. Oh, and Melina, feel free to come down to Austin. My guy Pablo went off the grid out of nowhere.

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Harrison Lee

The Boulevard is a Content Manager for Grandex, Inc. He hates soccer and terrorists. He will forget more about sports than you will ever know in your lifetime.

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