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Masters Recap: McIlroy on Suicide Watch, Tiger Still Awesome Asshole, Random South African Wins

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The 2011 Masters was certainly one for the books. Rory McIlroy, who went into the final round with a four-stroke lead at -12, ultimately had an epic meltdown that he may never fully recover from. He cranked one into the cabins so far off course they never got a camera close enough to really see his lie. Next, he smacked a tree, eventually finished the hole, and then drove his ball into a stream on his next drive. From there the cameras stopped following, and I honestly thought the next shot we’d see of him would be hanging lifelessly from the Eisenhower Tree. If you’re an adamant patriot such as myself, you were very pleased as this hard-to-watch disaster painfully unfolded, giving the American Tiger Woods a shot at what seemed like an impossible victory (he went into the round 7 strokes off the lead). Toward the end of Sunday, a 5-man playoff was a distinct possibility. In the end it was too little too late for Tiger, but he did shit all over the media in his post-round interview: “Right now, I’m one back and we’ll see what Adam (Scott) does,” and “I’m going to eat. I’m starving.” Then he walked off; it was awesomely smug. Some weirdly named [EDIT: South African (Who gives a fuck?)], Wienerschnitzel or something, took home the green jacket after birdying the final four holes. Whatever, I’m just glad that broom-putter toting, layup-taking fairy Adam Scott didn’t win. Instead of wasting anymore time insulting Scott’s sorostitute putter, or discussing the long list of reasons Rickie Fowler should cease to exist, let’s try and make Monday a little more fun with some hilarious clips from classic golf movies. Feel free to share more in the comments section.


Tin Cup

Happy Gilmore

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