Current Events

Massachusetts Town Bans American Flags

In an alleged “mistake” the town of Wrentham, Massachusetts has made a shocking move and banned public displays of Old Glory.

After a local resident, presumably a hippy/communist/molester of freedom, complained about American Flags in common areas, the notice was promptly placed on every apartment door.

The Wrentham Department of Housing and Community Development was quick to deny their involvement.

“We were not aware of this deicison…it was a mistake,” said a spokesperson for the agency, before explaining that American Flags may be displayed in a “respectful and safe” way.

I’m not buying it. Forgetting to get milk at the grocery store is a mistake, banning the flag of our country is a despicable act of dissent.

What situation could possibly lead someone to think this was a good idea? I don’t care how much one resident bitches about The Star Spangled Banner, this is America, that is our Goddamn flag. If someone wants to fly it then they damn well should be able to do so. WHO GETS UPSET ABOUT SEEING AN AMERICAN FLAG!?

While the state has scrambled to reverse their decree, the town populace has been in a complete uproar. 82-year old resident Barbara Marshall was particularly irked, and decided to defy her commie town by letting her stars and stripes wave free.

“If somebody wants to come and take the flag down, I’ll take pictures,” she said to The Sun Chronicle, presumably before threatening to “mow down those commie bastards with my husband’s old Tommy Gun from Iwo if they try to take it.” Grandmothers, believe it or not, are actually huge proponents of the second amendment.

While the Housing and Community Development department is tripping over itself to rectify the situation, the ban is still technically in place. If I were a resident of Wrenthem (before killing myself from boredom), I would raise up a hundred flags on my front yard. If that’s a problem, they can kiss my ass and come and take it.

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StuffFratPeopleLike (@StuffFratsLike) is a writer for Total Frat Move, and due to his crippling OCD and functional alcoholism he can only understand and write text when presented in a numbered list format. So you're all jerks for calling him out on it. He is a self described Huguenot, and commands a secret sexual fetish for angry internet comments.

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