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Martin Shkreli Wants To Pay Scientists To Bring Harambe Back From The Dead

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We have the technology. We can rebuild him.

Pharmaceutical Entrepreneur Martin Shkreli — best known for obtaining the manufacturing license to a life-saving AIDS drug and jacking up the price to an unaffordable $750 per tablet as well as offering his ex $10,000 to munch her box — says he now wants to use his powers for good.

Shkreli’s hit up a bunch of scientists in the hopes of funding a project to revive the late gorilla, Harambe, and has documented his tireless pursuit on Twitter (in between several tweets about Hillary Clinton having Parkinson’s and a handful of Periscopes).

Unsuccessful in assembling a super team of scientists to revive Harambe, Shkreli now wants to get his hands on the gorilla’s DNA so he can inject it into himself and become Shkarambe:

Imagine if this plan came to fruition and Shkreli became half-gorilla, half-billionaire. Shkarambe would stop short-selling the stocks of life-saving pharmaceutical products (hard to do evil shit when you’ve got the noble DNA of the angelic Harambe coursing through your veins). Also, Dole would get at least $1 billion in donations.

Someone get this man that damn DNA.

Be sure to pick up our new Rowdy Harambe and Harambe 2016 t-shirts:

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Images via YouTube, YouTube

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Alex Buscemi

AKA Boosh. Former high school back-up wide receiver. Author of two pretty successful Reddit comments. Recent grad from the University of South Carolina.

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