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Marshawn Lynch Fined $20,000 For “Hold My Dick” Taunt, NFL Proceeds To Sell Photo Of Said Taunt

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The complete disregard Marshawn Lynch has for NFL suits is what makes “Beast Mode” one of the few likable aspects of a Seattle Seahawks franchise that is otherwise completely nauseating. This is the same team that refers to its fans as “Twelves,” after all.

Lynch racked up an impressive amount of fines from the league throughout the season to the point where I’m almost positive, by the end of Super Bowl week, he will have played the season free of charge. Seriously, Marshawn, for your own financial wellbeing, go to Media Day on Tuesday and give your patent one-word answers. They’re still more insightful than a Bill Belichick press conference.

Marshawn’s latest bill from the NFL was to the ring of 20 large for grabbing his junk while scoring the go-ahead touchdown against the Packers in the fourth quarter of the NFC Championship.

Lynch has essentially made the “hold my dick” taunt his own, and he was fined $11,050 for it earlier in the season.

Due to Lynch’s love of Michael Jackson-ing his way into the end zone, the NFL has issued a warning to the eighth-year running back for the Super Bowl.

From ESPN:

The NFL’s head of officiating told ESPN’s Sal Paolantonio at Pro Bowl practice Saturday that the Seattle Seahawks have been warned that if running back Marshawn Lynch makes an obscene gesture after scoring a touchdown or at any other time during Super Bowl XLIX, the team will be penalized 15 yards for unsportsmanlike conduct.

“The Shield” will simply not let such an egregious act of profanity stand.

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However, it will try to profit off of said act.

The NFL has since seen the error in its ways — or is hastily reacting to public perception once again — and has taken this hot-ticket item off the shelf. Sadly, you no longer can drop $150 on an NFC Championship memorabilia plaque featuring Lynch going Beast Mode on his space needle.

How poetic would it be, though, if Lynch scores a last-second game-winning touchdown while executing the gesture. “Hold my dick” would be forever immortalized into the sport’s biggest game. Hell, I’ll settle for Lynch to nonchalantly pull it off in the background of a semi-important play.

Never change, Marshawn.

[via ESPN]

Image via Shutterstock

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Dan Regester

Dan Regester @Dan_Regester is a Senior Writer, Podcast Host, and Video Guy for Grandex Media. He's Delco trash to the core and a UCF cinema studies graduate because he never got around to applying to an actual film school. Dan is a gambling man, crypto investor, and procrastinator. He enjoys long walks to the water fountain between bench press sets and is not a fan of the homeless, the elderly, or the Phoenix Airport. Email tips to

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