It’s a TFM.
Hey lady! You just got lawyered! Quick recap: Attorney Thomas Lowe was representing this lady in her divorce case. He called her pretty and she reciprocated the compliment by way of lots of sneaky sex romps and fellatio for six months straight. Oh, and he billed her for it. I imagine this is how lawyer folklore is born.
The 58-year-old, who is married, began an affair with his client after complimenting on her appearance and talking about her sex life… [it was] revealed that on the dates he was having sex he billed the women for his time and coded their liaisons as ‘meetings’ or ‘drafting memos.
Quick note: if you don’t think I’m going to start calling every sexual encounter I have from now on as “drafting memos” then you are outside of your mind.
“Hey Dick, what were you doing in there?”
“Drafting a memo” (winks with finger pistols)
“Weren’t you alone?”
(Holsters the finger pistols and exits the room)
Back to the issue at hand — basically this guy parlayed a quick “You look beautiful today” into a half year affair that was funded by the mistress? Hey Thomas Lowe, you can represent me in court any day, after you get your license to practice law reinstated of course. Because this would be the second time that ol’ Tommy boy stepped out of the proverbial lawyer line:
It is not the first time Lowe has been in trouble, according to the Pioneer Press. In 1997, he was placed on probation for buying cocaine from a client.
Seriously, Tom? That is day one stuff at law school. Right after the professor goes over his lesson on client confidentiality, he goes into the lesson on “Don’t buy cocaine off of your client and also don’t have an affair with your client and send her the bill for it.”
Part of me wants to believe that Lowe thought he could get away with it though, but I know for a fact that Lowe knew the axe was going to fall at some point, and here’s why: he got greedy. He flew too close to the sun with wings made of dirty mistress money. Oh and this doesn’t help either:
Lowe eventually broke off the affair after several arguments with the woman in a bid to save his own marriage. He also withdrew as her attorney leading to the woman, who had past abuse and mental health issues, to try and kill herself. While she recovered in hospital she told authorities about the affair.
See that right there is going to get you caught ninety-nine times out of a hundred. Hey Tom, here’s a free lesson: NEVER stick your dick in crazy. I’ll take it a step further: never stick your dick in crazy and then send crazy the bill while you are married. It’s going to end in tears. And it is also going to end in divorce, practicing law revocation, and suicide attempts. If I’ve seen it once I’ve seen it a thousand times.
There was a rim shot “plead the Fifth” joke in there somewhere.
[via Daily Mail]
Image via Legal Zoom