The World Health Organization released a new map detailing which countries drink the most per capita, and as expected, America is perfect. That’s why we’re colored gold, right? Because we set the gold standard for alcohol consumption? Not too much, but enough to be awesome. I may have made all of that up just now, but considering the map itself is using fictional words like “litres” to measure alcohol consumption (what is this, a Quidditch scoreboard?), I think we’re all free to interpret this however we want.
Congratulations to Russia on finishing ahead of America, though killing a bottle of shitty vodka every night simply to forget you live in a godawful country doesn’t seem as fun as funneling a hurricane from between huge, barely legal breasts on Bourbon Street.
[via Business Insider]