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Since my last news article about Jon Hamm’s gadget went over about as well as Casey Anthony wandering alone through a maternity ward, I’m going to venture back into some safer territory: whiskey.
A western Pennsylvania man’s party is over, but his hangover is just beginning. John Saunders, the former live-in caretaker of a Pittsburgh mansion, is facing charges for allegedly guzzling more than $100,000 worth of the homeowner’s well-aged whiskey. The complaint alleges that Saunders tilted back 52 bottles of Old Farm Pure Rye Whiskey and now the owner is looking for Saunders to settle his tab. It sounds like this dude was partying like Nic Cage in Leaving Las Vegas. I like his style.
Patricia Hill, a New York City resident who purchased the mansion to turn it into a B&B in 2012, found nine cases of aged-whiskey hidden in the walls of the house. The hooch was produced in the early 1900s and hidden in the walls by industrialist J.P. Brennan right before Prohibition. My guess: Brennan was trying to hide the sauce from that creepy Prohibition Agent Nelson Van Alden.
Saunders faces criminal charges and is being sued for $102,400 in a civil suit. Hill noticed that the bottles of whiskey were gone shortly after Saunders moved out and DNA has linked him to the empty bottles. It sounds like Saunders is screwed on the criminal charges but hopefully he can discharge that gargantuan bar tab under the bankruptcy laws.
One thing that came to mind when reading this story: do you think Saunders has some sort of severe chromosome deficiency? Why wouldn’t he just purchase a few handles of rotgut whiskey and fill up the empty expensive bottles with the cheap stuff to cover his ass? The owner of the whiskey is a woman, from NYC, who runs a Bed and Breakfast. She probably drives a Prius with a “Coexist” bumper sticker and shops at Whole Foods. She has absolutely no idea what top notch aged-whiskey tastes or smells like. Why not pull the old switcharoo like we all did with our parents’ liquor cabinet back in high school and spare yourself a six figure lawsuit? TFTC?
[via Fox News]
Image via Cocktails for Everybody