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The author of the original story came out firing with this gem:
As any hardened drinkers know, too much alcohol can severely impair your sight.
Is this common knowledge? I can honestly say I’ve never heard this before. Shit. Now I’m afraid of alcohol-induced onset blindness. Or maybe my ignorance of this danger means I don’t drink enough to have to worry about it. I mean “any hardened drinker” would already know, so I guess I’m not a hardened alcoholic. So I have that going for me, which is nice.
Denis Duthie, 65, suddenly went blind after the vodka in his system reacted with his diabetes medication. Diabeetus.
The 65-year-old had decided to have a few drinks to celebrate his parents’ 50th wedding anniversary. But when he walked into the bedroom of his home in Taranaki, New Zealand, he suddenly found that he could not see anything.
Speaking to The New Zealand Herald, he said: ‘I thought it had got dark and I’d missed out on a bit of time but it was only about half-past-three in the afternoon. I was fumbling around the bedroom for the light switch but … I’d just gone completely blind.’
Shit, man. A 65-year-old blind alcoholic with diabeetus is not a good look.
Duthie checked into the Taranaki Base Hospital the next morning after trying to sleep off his blindness, just like any normal person would. Thankfully, some sharp-thinking and barroom ingenuity would revive his vision. After diagnosis, “doctors immediately decided he needed to go to surgery straight away. The situation was so serious that doctors even told his wife to say goodbye before he went into the [operating room].”
As surgery got underway, the doctors thought he could have formaldehyde poisoning, which can be treated by administering ethanol, which is a strong type of alcohol found in drinks such as whisky. Unfortunately, the hospital did not have enough medical ethanol so a registrar was sent to the local store to buy a bottle of Johnnie Walker Black Label whisky.
This was then dripped into his stomach through a tube. The results were incredible.
Duthie woke up five days later (five days?!), and to his surprise, had regained his eyesight.
So, what’s the takeaway from this story, guys? If you’re gonna pound alcohol without regard for your vision, or if you think you’re trending toward hardened alcoholism, or if you have the diabeetus, it would behoove you to carry around a bottle of Johnnie Walker. Just to be safe.