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Just when I thought LBJ’s claim to fame would always be creating the world’s largest parking lot that is 635 in Dallas, stories of his days in office have come forth. When you’re the President of the United States Of America, you are gifted with certain powers that the rest of us do not have. One of those powers is the ability to supe up your new digs at the White House.
LBJ was a simple man. All he really wanted was a custom shower with two nozzles. Seems like a simple request, right? Nothing that should be met with opposition. Except for the fact that he wanted one nozzle pointed directly at his dick, and the other at his ass. Oh, and he wanted these things to fire out with enough force to put out a fire. He wanted it so bad that he would harass the shit out of the staff to get it done.
Yahoo brought this all to light by providing some excerpts from Kate Andersen Brower’s “The Residence: Inside the Private World of the White House.”
He harassed residence staff for years to construct him a specialized shower to replicate the one he had at his private Washington home, with “water charging out of multiple nozzles in every direction with needlelike intensity and a hugely powerful force.”
“One nozzle was pointed directly at the president’s penis, which he nicknamed ‘Jumbo.’ Another shot right up his rear,” Brower writes. Johnson, who traveled with his own special shower nozzle, wanted the water pressure at the White House to be “the equivalent of a fire hose, and he wanted a simple switch to change the temperature from hot to cold immediately. Never warm.”
As I said, a simple request. No need to tell the pres no. Actually, when you told the pres no, he gave you a very good counterargument.
“If I can move 10,000 troops in a day, you can certainly fix the bathroom any way I want it!” Johnson yelled at the staff, according to Brower.
Like, what are you supposed to say in response to that? You can’t really say anything other than, “Yes sir.” Eventually, LBJ got what he wanted — despite the fact that the guy in charge of the project was sent to the hospital after having a nervous breakdown. What a pussy.
The staff went through five different replacement shower models. LBJ eventually got something like what he wanted, sort of. The water temperature was so hot that the steam it emitted “regularly set off the fire alarm,” Brower writes.
LBJ was just pulling power moves left and right while in the White House..
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