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London Wants To Host Super Bowl, Crap All Over The Declaration of Independence

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London, England is taking aim at football, the Super Bowl, and America.

Alex Horne, England’s Football (Soccer) Association’s general secretary, told reporters that it would be “possible in the next five years” for London to be the home of an NFL team. Worse, Horne thinks that getting a franchise will lead them to hosting the world’s biggest event, the Super Bowl.

“You don’t rule anything out,” he added, presumably from his Jaguar while sipping tea past his bad teeth while sporting a Burberry jacket.

Look, I like soccer, mostly when America plays it once every four years, but we didn’t fight the Revolution to have to put up with this foreign interference. The Monroe Doctrine has got to cover this somewhere. It’s bad enough that there’s the odd, awkward London NFL game during the season, or that this year there will be three, or that the rumors of the rumors of the Jaguars moving there instead of LA continue to persist. The Super Bowl? That’s pure Americana.

Yes, I know the Super Bowl crowd, full of corporate clients, is rarely a true football crowd, but come on. Do you really want to put up with every sportscaster making tired football versus football jokes? Do you really want to have to deal with “Which soccer star would play best in the NFL?” and vice-versa? Do you really want to watch the Super Bowl at 9 a.m., when English Premier League games are on?

The answer is no, my fellow Americans. First it was Obama, then Bieber, and now this? I say it’s high time we stop letting these foreigners take over our culture.

[via Fox Sports]

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I used to write for TFM and PGP when they were funny.

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