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Let These Stories Of People Sleeping Their Way To Get Ahead Inspire You To Do The Same

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Everything in the world is about sex. Don’t believe me? Well, then I’d encourage you to have a sit-down meeting with detective Ani Bezzerides and let her straighten things out:

I just want you to know that I also find this video to be obnoxious as fuck, but I couldn’t find that very relevant True Detective clip anywhere else.

“Everything is fucking.”

God, season two of True Detective was ridiculous. By the way, bet you didn’t realize that the girl in the featured photo above is Maisie Williams, better known for her role as Game of Thrones character Arya Stark. Yeah, bet you feel a bit dirtier now, don’t you?

Anyway, the internet blue-link cesspool known as “ReadIt” had another interesting AskReddit post I thought was worth sharing with you hooligans. This one was all about sleeping with an authority figure to gain an advantage in the workplace/classroom. The exact prompt was: People who performed sexual favors in school or in the workplace to get ahead, what was it for? What are things like now?

I was not disappointed with the results.

From Reddit:

I was doing poorly in a college class, so I started dating the scrawny girl who got good grades. Turns out she had a thing for oral. Both ways. Also, I learned the value of flashcards.

Any girl who has a “thing for oral” is a girl who you need to lock-down right away.

I fucked my boss on her desk once. There weren’t explicit implications of getting a raise or promotion, but I kind of assumed. She turned out to be super clingy and a little insane, so I left the job. Backfired I guess.

Fucking your way right out of a job. Still respectable, I suppose.

I used to unbutton the top of my shirt and flex for a flamboyantly gay teacher to try and persuade him to boost my grade.
Didn’t work, but later found out he was sleeping with another boy in my class.

I don’t know what is more pathetic, trying to turn on your gay professor to get a good grade, or getting rejected by him.

My public speaking adjunct, freshman year of college. I missed a speech, so I made it up in an empty class room later in the week. Gave my speech to just her in an otherwise empty classroom (which was a bit weird, but I’ve never been afraid of public speaking, so whatever). She then said it was a ‘B’ speech, that I could easily raise to an ‘A’. I asked how, and she just winked at me.

She was decent enough looking, so, being a hormone charged 20 year old, I just got on my knees and went to work. Ate her out for a while there in the empty classroom, then she took us back to her apartment where we did work until I had to go get ready to go to a party. She called me later that night saying my grade needed a bit more work. Ended up being her booty call for another 10ish months until she started dating a grad student.

I got an ‘A’ in her class, and a reliable sex life for end of freshman year, summer, and first semester of sophomore year. I’m now graduated and doing great. I regret nothing.

This sounds like a terrible porno. 10/10 would watch again.

During my junior year in college, I had this teaching assistant for an upper level econ class that I was barely getting by in. This class was required for my major so I wanted to do fairly well in it. I went to his office hours to talk about it one day. As I was talking to him, I built up the courage to put my hand on his junk and ask him to bump my grade up a little. At this point, he was silent and I was afraid he’d probably report me or something but then we just start making out. We had only made out for a bit but exchanged numbers and ended up becoming fuck buddies for the whole year, even after the class was over. I haven’t spoken to him in almost 5 years but it was definitely a win-win situation. Oh and I got an A- in the class 🙂

I assume this was not a course in ethics.

I graduated at the top 5% of my class in high school. I then went on to major in chemistry. In one particular course, I sucked a TA’s dick to convince him to give a good word to a professor, which helped me land a research role. I now attend Duke medical school and could not be happier.

Bet she is close with the Duke porn star.

Freshman year of college, got a job in the cafeteria. About two weeks into the second semester, we got a new kitchen manager who was late 30s, maybe early 40s, but was going through a bad marriage and wanted to feel young again. She decided the quickest way to do that was to start banging me for some reason.
Being a horny college kid I was all over this, and it lasted a month until she got fired for being a shitty kitchen manager.
The only thing that’s different for me now is that I kinda find it hot when a woman doesn’t shave her pits.

Wow that was…not hot at all.

Dated my political science professor last year (not for a grade, but because he was awesome). Big mistake. He was even harder on me than everyone else in the class, to avoid favoritism. That was the first time I’ve ever gotten a B on a paper. Also, he lied to me haha. He told me that he and his wife (also working at our university) had been separated for a long time and that they were both okay with seeing other people. They were separated, but it was his idea, and she was very bitter. I felt awful about hurting her. They were both about 20 years older than me. I broke it off. It was a waste of time; he was in a mid-life crisis and I was a big-eyed fool.

Edit: he constantly bought me lots of food and he was a 10/10, so only some regrets

*Scribbles ‘buy girls more food’ on a Post-It*

When I was 20, I was working as a bartender. I had a regular who was a surgeon. One day I got in a minor accident and broke my arm. I didn’t have insurance at the time and being young, stupid, and broke I thought I could take care of it myself. The next day I went into work with a homemade splint.
At some point later that night, my surgeon friend comes in and she asks me what happened. I explained it all to her. So she just gives me her office address, tells me to come the next day at a certain time, and says I can make it up to her when I’m better.
And thats how I got world-class treatment from the best hospital in the city for free. It was also the beginning of a two year relationship with a surgeon.

No regrets. Wonderful experience.

TLDR: I slept with a doctor for free medical care.

Just like Canada.

If these stories don’t inspire you to sleep your way to the top, I’m not sure I can help you. When hard work just isn’t an option, sex is always there to make up for it.

[via Reddit]

Image via YouTube

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