They say all good things must come to an end, but damn it, Kyle, you’re leaving us way too soon. That’s right, I regret to inform you that Buffalo Bills’ quarterback, Kyle “The Bottle” Orton, has finally called it quits, retiring at the youthful age of 32. He finished his career with 101 touchdowns to only 69 interceptions, but let’s be honest, it was never his highlight reel on the field that made him a fan favorite. Rather, we cherished moments like this:
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That’s our boy packing a massive lip on the sidelines, mid-game, with no regard for human life. Yes, throughout his career, Kyle set unprecedentedly new lows for how many fucks a human being could possibly give.
Kyle Orton is retiring. This will give him much more time to get drunk pic.twitter.com/S1aq7Rd1DZ
— Dirty Sports (@TheDirtySports) December 29, 2014
Kyle Orton is better at picking up chicks at the bar drunk versus being a quarterback pic.twitter.com/sCvLYdVdbd
— Jeff Lange (@digijeff) December 30, 2013
Kyle Orton is gonna get hammered drunk win or lose tonight. Hopefully he wins pic.twitter.com/e0j3Sv1WEK
— Jeremy Homan (@jhoman29) December 30, 2013
— john_kucko (@john_kucko) October 6, 2014
— yungmortybitch (@2davez) October 2, 2014
Hollywood could not have written a better ending as Orton went out the only way he could, with a win over the Patriots and an Irish exit out of the locker room.
Kyle Orton stopped to grab his wallet around 9:00. Said he was going to a meeting, would talk later. Never came back. pic.twitter.com/8ImJP9ZvOg
— Prescott Rossi (@PrescottRossi) December 29, 2014
He was a journeyman, a facial hair connoisseur, a true man amongst men. Kyle, you were not the quarterback we deserved, but you were the quarterback we needed. You gave guys across the country with overall subpar talent and looks a glimmer of hope in this dark and cold world. For that, you’re a hall of famer in our books. So we say with teary eyes, “Goodnight, sweet prince, and may flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.”.
Image via Youtube